The Worst Witch Strikes Again Read online

  ‘Mildred Hubble!’ The inevitable words rang out across the room in a tone which implied that Miss Bat would stand no more nonsense. Everyone had stopped chanting, and Mildred’s peals of laughter echoed embarrassingly round the silent walls.

  ‘Come out here at once!’ ordered Miss Bat.

  Mildred clumped through the rows of pupils and stood next to the piano. She took a deep breath and managed to look serious, though her face was flaming and the sound of Enid’s voice still resounded in her head.

  When Miss Bat was angry there were

  two things she always did. First, her head would begin nodding (which it was doing now) and, secondly, she would take the baton from behind her ear and begin conducting an invisible orchestra (which she was also doing now). Mildred could tell that she was furious.

  ‘What, may I ask, is so hilarious that you are prepared to disrupt the entire chanting lesson for the sake of it?’ inquired Miss Bat coldly. ‘No one else seems to be laughing. Perhaps you would let us all in on the joke!’

  Mildred stole a glance at Maud and Enid. Maud was staring intently at her feet, and Enid was gazing at the ceiling, the picture of innocence.

  ‘It was –’ began Mildred, but a splutter of laughter came out and she dissolved into a giggling wreck again.

  At last the wave subsided and she was left breathless, but able to speak.

  ‘Now, Mildred,’ quavered Miss Bat, in a voice like a taut violin string, ‘I’m waiting for a reasonable explanation.’

  ‘Enid was singing out of tune,’ said Mildred.

  ‘Well!’ said Miss Bat. ‘I hardly think that is a reason for such a display of appalling manners. Come here, Enid my dear.’

  Enid came and stood next to Mildred by the piano.

  ‘Now, my dear,’ said Miss Bat kindly, ‘you must not feel shy because you can’t sing very well. I hope you are not too upset just because Mildred decided to make a spectacle of herself on your account. Now, let me hear you sing one or two bars of “Eye of Toad” and we shall see if we can help you along a little.’

  Enid obliged in the same wavering, off-key voice as before,

  ‘Eye of toad,

  Ear of bat,

  Leg of frog,

  Tail of cat.

  Drop them in,

  Stir it up,

  Pour it in a silver cup.’

  This was the last straw for Mildred, who abandoned all efforts at keeping control and gave herself up to complete hysteria.

  As you may imagine, it was also the last straw for Miss Bat, and Mildred found herself on her way to the headmistress’s office for the first time that term.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  ISS CACKLE was not pleased when Mildred entered her study.

  ‘Good morning, Mildred,’ she said wearily, motioning the hapless pupil to sit down. ‘I suppose it is too much to hope for that you are sent here with a message, or for some innocent reason?’

  ‘Yes, Miss Cackle,’ murmured Mildred. ‘Miss Bat sent me to you because I was laughing in the chanting lesson. One of my friends was singing out of tune and I couldn’t stop laughing.’

  Miss Cackle looked at Mildred over the top of her spectacles and Mildred wondered why Enid’s singing didn’t sound in the least bit funny now, in front of the headmistress.

  ‘I wonder,’ said Miss Cackle, ‘if there is any hope at all for you in this Academy. You take one pace forward then four paces backward; it’s the same old story, Mildred, isn’t it? And the term’s only just begun. I see that Miss Hardbroom was right when she disagreed with my plan to put you in charge of the new girl. I have put you in a position of responsibility, Mildred, and you must live up to it, not let me down.’

  ‘Yes, Miss Cackle,’ agreed Mildred fervently.

  ‘It would be a sad thing indeed,’ continued Miss Cackle, ‘if you were to lead this innocent new pupil up the garden path with you, would it not? Now, child, for the last time, pull yourself together and let me hear no more about you for the rest of the term.’

  Mildred assured Miss Cackle of her good intentions and meekly left the room.

  As there was still a good hour of chanting left and Miss Bat had told her not to come back, Mildred decided to sneak up to Enid’s room and take a look at the monkey.

  Mildred could hear her fellow-pupils chanting in the music-room as she crept up the spiral staircase to Enid’s room. It gave her a delicious sense of freedom to have a whole hour stretched before her while everyone else in the school was imprisoned in a stuffy classroom.

  For once the sun had filtered through the shroud of mist, and shafts of sunlight fell dramatically through the slit-windows on to the cool stone steps.

  ‘Well, I certainly made a mistake about Enid,’ thought Mildred. ‘She’s worse than I am.’

  She giggled again at the thought of the

  tuneless chanting and opened the door of Enid’s room.

  As she did so the monkey, which had been sitting on the bedpost, made a dive for the door straight over Mildred’s head and off down the corridor screeching with delight. Mildred saw its long tail whip round the corner as it plunged down the spiral staircase.

  ‘Oh, no!’ thought Mildred, setting off after the creature as fast as she could.

  She arrived breathless at the bottom of the staircase, only to find that the monkey was nowhere to be seen.

  ‘Oh, dear,’ she muttered aloud. ‘What am I going to do?’

  ‘What should you be doing, Mildred?’ asked a chilling voice behind her.

  ‘Oh! Er — nothing, Miss Hardbroom,’ replied Mildred, for it was her form-mistress who had appeared from nowhere.

  ‘Nothing,’ echoed Miss Hardbroom frostily. ‘At this time of day? Why, I ask myself, should Mildred Hubble be hurtling around the corridors when everyone else is usefully employed in a lesson somewhere? And why, I ask myself, should Mildred Hubble’s socks be trailing round her ankles?’

  Mildred bent down and hastily pulled them up.

  ‘I was sent out of chanting, Miss Hardbroom,’ she explained. ‘Miss Bat told me not to come back so I’ve got nothing to do for the next hour.’

  ‘Nothing to do?’ exploded Miss Hardbroom, her eyes flashing so wildly that Mildred backed away. ‘Well, I would suggest that you take yourself to the library and brush up on your spells and potions for a start, and then perhaps if there is any time left — which I doubt — you can come and find me in my room and I will give you a test on what you have learned.’

  ‘Yes, Miss Hardbroom,’ said Mildred.

  Desperately trying to work out where the monkey could have got to, Mildred took the corridor which led towards the library. She looked back over her shoulder and saw that Miss Hardbroom had vanished, which was very confusing as you were never sure if she was watching invisible, or if she had walked away.

  Mildred walked on for a few more corridors, then waited and listened. All she could hear was the faint chanting of Form One in the distance, so she set off in search of the lost monkey again.

  Something moving caught her eye through one of the windows. It was the monkey, halfway up one of the towers,

  swinging about by its tail. It had managed to get hold of a hat from somewhere and was wearing it rammed down over its ears. If Mildred hadn’t been quite so horrified she would have seen how funny the animal looked.

  ‘Oh, come down, Monkey, please!’ she called as softly as possible. ‘I’ve got a nice banana for you.’

  But the monkey only let out a shriek and climbed a bit higher. Mildred ran as fast as she could and fetched her broomstick. As far as she could see, the only way to get the monkey down was to fly across and catch it.

  Nervously she stepped on to the windowledge and lowered herself on to the broomstick. She gave the command for it to fly, but unfortunately, as she gave it a tap (which was the signal for it to start), she slipped and the broom zoomed off with Mildred hanging on by her arms.

  ‘Stop!’ yelled Mildred, at which the

  broom stopped and hovere
d in mid-air. Mildred tried to haul herself on to it, but that was impossible with nothing to push her feet against. Her arms were practically out of their sockets, but she was so near the monkey that she decided to give it a try and commanded the stick to fly on. As luck would have it, the monkey was

  fascinated by the sight of the broom and jumped on to it, where it proceeded to run up and down and swing by its tail.

  ‘Down!’ Mildred commanded the broom and the extraordinary little group whooshed downwards.

  As they came in to land, Mildred was shocked to see that the yard was full of people. Form Three had been having a broomstick lesson with Miss Drill the gym-mistress, and had witnessed the whole episode on the tower. Even worse, Miss Hardbroom was standing next to Miss Drill with her arms folded and both eyebrows raised. Mildred felt quite ridiculous as she floated to the ground in such an ungainly position with the monkey swinging beside her.

  ‘Well?’ asked Miss Hardbroom, as Mildred took the monkey from the broom and stood holding it tightly in case it should escape.

  ‘I — er — I found it!’ exclaimed Mildred.

  ‘On the tower,’ sneered Miss Hard-broom, ‘wearing a hat.’

  ‘Yes,’ said Mildred, almost dying of embarrassment. ‘It was up there so I… thought I ought to bring it down.’

  ‘And where did it come from?’ demanded Miss Hardbroom, narrowing her eyes. ‘You haven’t been arguing with Ethel again, have you?’ (She was thinking of the time last term when Mildred had changed Ethel into a pig during an argument.)

  ‘No, Miss Hardbroom!’ said Mildred.

  ‘Well, then, Mildred, where did you get the monkey from?’

  This was a very tricky situation. Mildred could not possibly sneak on Enid but Miss Hardbroom’s terrifying stare made Mildred feel that she probably knew anyway. Perhaps it was just as well that a member of Form Three stepped forward.

  ‘She got it from the new girl’s room,’ announced the girl. ‘I saw her coming out of there earlier on.’

  ‘Enid’s room?’ queried Miss Hard-broom. ‘But Enid has a regulation black cat. There is no other animal in her room.’

  She sent the girl to fetch Enid from the chanting lesson and Enid soon arrived looking bewildered. She did not flinch when she saw Mildred with the monkey.

  ‘Is this your monkey, Enid?’ asked Miss Hardbroom.

  ‘I only have a cat, Miss Hardbroom,’ replied Enid.

  Mildred’s eyes widened in disbelief.

  ‘Are you quite sure it isn’t Ethel?’ asked Miss Hardbroom severely.

  ‘Yes, Miss Hardbroom,’ said Mildred.

  Miss Hardbroom, however, did not believe her and she muttered the spell which would change the animal back to its original form. To Mildred’s surprise the monkey vanished and in its place stood a little black cat.

  ‘That’s my cat!’ cried Enid, as the cat jumped into her arms.

  ‘Mildred!’ said Miss Hardbroom, ‘you’ve been told about this before. First Ethel, now Enid’s cat. For goodness’ sake, when is this nonsense going to stop?’

  Mildred was astonished.

  ‘But Miss — I –’ she gasped.

  ‘Silence,’ said Miss Hardbroom. ‘Two days you have been back at school and already twice in disgrace. At least this encounter has allowed Enid to see what a bad example you are. I hope you will take care not to follow in Mildred’s footsteps, Enid. Now run along, both of you, and take care, Mildred. Just think before you embark on such an escapade again.’

  The minute the two girls were round the corner Mildred asked Enid what on earth was going on.

  ‘Simple,’ said Enid, ‘it really is my cat. I changed it into a monkey before breakfast this morning, for fun. I was going to

  change it back tomorrow when we go for Sports Day practice. I didn’t know you were going to go and let it out, did I?’

  CHAPTER SIX

  PORTS DAY loomed ahead like a black cloud for Mildred, as did anything where competition was called for. She hated the idea of trying to beat other people, mainly because she never won and it was all so humiliating, but also because it just wasn’t her way of doing things.

  As well as this, Maud was being very trying. Just because Mildred had been put in charge of Enid, which meant that she had to take Enid around with her, Maud had gone off in a jealous huff and had even gone as far as teaming up with Ethel.

  Mildred could hardly believe it when she saw the two of them together. She knew Maud was just doing it because of Enid, so she pretended not to take any notice, but in fact it nearly killed her to see her best friend arm-in-arm with her old enemy.

  There were various events on the Sports Day agenda: pole-vaulting, sack-racing, cat-balancing, relay broomstick-racing, and a prize for the best trained cat.

  Everyone practised very hard in the

  weeks leading up to the Sports Day. Mildred had long sessions with her little tabby cat trying to teach it to sit up straight instead of hanging on with its eyes shut, but little progress was made. Mildred and Enid ran races against each other and always tied but this was no indication of merit as they were equally bad.

  The weeks soon slid by and Sports Day dawned grey and misty. For once Mildred was wide awake when the rising-bell sounded, as she had been tossing and turning for most of the night with dreadful nightmares. One was about finding a monster on the back of her broom in the middle of the relay-race and it turned into Miss Cackle who said, ‘Mildred! You’ve done it again!’

  As the first peals of the bell rang out, Mildred dragged herself out of bed and rummaged around for her sports kit. She found it crumpled up at the bottom of her sock drawer and tried to smooth it out so it would look a bit more presentable.

  Some mornings were worse than others, she reflected, as she pulled on the dingy grey aertex shirt and black divided skirt which hung limply to her knees. The grey socks and black plimsolls completed the picture of gloom as she plaited her hair tightly.

  There was a knock at the door and for a happy moment she thought it must be Maud, but Enid put her head round the door and Mildred remembered Maud had gone off with Ethel.

  ‘Don’t laugh,’ said Enid as she brought the rest of herself into the room.

  Mildred obliged with a snort of mirth at the sight of Enid’s sports kit.

  ‘I said don’t laugh,’ said Enid smiling. ‘I know they’re funny, but I haven’t got a proper pair.’

  She was wearing a vast pair of black knickers which were pulled up under her arms.

  ‘Haven’t you got a smaller pair?’ asked Mildred.

  ‘No,’ replied Enid. ‘My mother buys everything with growing room because I’m so big. You should see my vests! Some of them trail on the floor when they aren’t tucked in.’

  ‘I shan’t be able to keep a straight face with you in those,’ said Mildred. ‘Still, it might put the others off. How’s your cat?’

  ‘I’m not bringing it,’ said Enid. ‘It’s been a bit off-colour since the monkey

  incident. I don’t think it could cope with broomstick riding.’

  ‘I’m bringing Tabby,’ said Mildred, taking the cat from its position curled up on the pillow. ‘I’ve been training it every day, but I don’t know if it’s done any good.’

  CHAPTER SEVEN

  NID and Mildred satin the cloakroom waiting to be called for the first event, which was the pole-vault. To their great consternation they discovered that they had been entered for everything, mainly because they were both so tall, and this gave rise to the completely false idea that they must be good at sports.

  ‘We’re bound to come last,’ said Enid despairingly.

  ‘We don’t have to,’ said Mildred, stroking the tabby cat’s head which was sticking out of the top of her shoe-bag. ‘We’re taller than everyone else, we ought to be better than them.’

  ‘Exactly,’ said Enid miserably. ‘But we aren’t. What we need is a touch of magic.’

  ‘Oh, Enid,’ said Mildred anxiously. ‘I can’t even do that prop
erly. You weren’t here when I made the wrong potion in the potion-lab and Maud and I disappeared. It was dreadful.’

  ‘Leave it to me,’ said Enid with disarming confidence.

  Mildred watched as her friend took the two poles to the window and waved her arms around them muttering words under her breath.

  ‘What are you doing?’ asked Mildred.

  ‘Shhh,’ said Enid. ‘You’ll mess up the spell.’

  A minute later, Enid handed Mildred’s pole back to her…

  ‘Come on,’ she said. ‘We’ll beat the lot of them now.’

  Mildred felt distinctly uneasy as they joined the contestants for the pole-vault. She looked up at the bar which seemed to be at least a mile high.

  ‘I’ll never get over that,’ she whispered to Enid.

  ‘Mildred Hubble!’ announced Miss Drill.

  ‘Oh, no!’ gasped Mildred. ‘I’m first.’

  ‘Just jump,’ said Enid with a wink. ‘You’ll be all right.’

  So Mildred jumped. She charged along the run-up strip, banged the pole on to the ground and, as she did so, an extraordinary thing happened. The ground suddenly seemed to be made of a strong, springy material, and both Mildred and the pole went soaring up into the air.

  From somewhere far below she heard Enid shout, ‘Let go of the pole!’

  Glancing down, Mildred saw to her horror that everything was way below her, including the pole-vault bar and the school

  walls. She was so shocked that she hung on even more tightly and saw that a turret was looming up in front of her with gathering speed. Like a guided missile,

  Mildred and the pole shot straight through one of the windows (fortunately the castle-like school did not have glass in any of them) and crash-landed in the middle of a table all set out ready for somebody’s tea.